The hubby went in for a pre-interview test for a job that he's applying for a couple of days ago. While on a break, he meets up with someone in the lounge that is some sort of recruiter for a company that's doing contract jobs in Iraq and Afghanistan. They get to talking and it turns out, the guy is in town to recruit employees for jobs overseas. Well, after talking for half an hour, the hubby walks away with a solid offer for employment.
Hubby didn't approach me with it immediately. He slept on it. Thought about it. Obsessed over it. Tried to figure out the logistics of it all.
He tells me this morning that he has something he wants to talk to me about. He tells me the deal and wants to know what I think.
What do I think? I think he's crazy.
Hubby has been without a job since June of 2004. Not because he's complacent in going out and looking for a job, but because what he does pays a good bit of money. There's a VERY low rate of turn-over in that industry, thus not very many people vacating those jobs. Nope, once those men/women find a job in that industry--they stay there until they either hit the lotto or retire.
I do understand why the offer of this job overseas is so appealing. Not only is it the over $100,000/year income, but it's the feeling of finally getting back into the workforce and taking care of family, not having to worry about how much longer the savings will last.
I try to think of this in the way he does, but I can't. All I can think of are the people who've been kidnapped and killed. Yes, military personnel, but also civilians who are working there as contractors -- because they chose to be there. I can't get the image of a bus going down the highway that ran right over a bomb and exploded, killing everyone on it/near it, out of my head.
Hubby's supposed to go back and meet with the guy in the morning. We've talked about it throughout the day and I've tried to be very clear, letting him know exactly how I feel. I've never told him that he couldn't do something just because I didn't like it. We don't work that way. I might tell him that I'm not comfortable with it or that it scares me to death, but I've never believed in holding him back from doing something the he really and truly wanted to do. He is the same way for me.
What would you do if your husband/wife/partner/boyfriend/significant other wanted to take a job and go (willingly) into a place like Iraq, where safety is FAR from guaranteed?
For the first time in the 10 (almost) years we've been married, I'm tempted to put my foot down and tell him 'no'...that he just can't go. Is that selfish? Or is that me, taking care of my family, making sure that my kiddos have more of a chance of keeping their daddy around?
Sure, accidents happen here every day. Nothing is guaranteed.
I just think I'm a little more comfortable with taking our chances here...not thousands of miles away in a country where the risk of accident is multiplied tenfold.
Oh well, I think I'm going to have a cup of Earl Grey and obsess for a while myself.
*UPDATE*
For lack of energy in creating a new post...
After an interesting decision-making process, my hubby decided NOT to take the job overseas. The one thing that sealed the deal on him not going was a dream with his father (who passed away in Aug. '04). In the dream, his father told him that taking this job wasn't the right thing to do. He also told him that if he took the job, he wouldn't come back home again. I'm big on dreams and their meanings and we both decided that if this dream wasn't a sign...we didn't know what was!
So....my hubby is here...now working for a friend and things are looking up!
Thursday, January 27, 2005
Wednesday, January 26, 2005
Mentally Exhausted....
*Warning – if you're a reader of Target, this post is like a MEGA spoiler for things to come toward the end of the book, so if you don't want big, heaping details (or at least hints) – come back another day*
I just finished writing 8 pages of sex. I should feel ecstatic, but in all actuality, I'm just exhausted. Mentally exhausted. Now, you may wonder why the hell 8 pages of sex was so difficult. Well, this wasn't just any run of the mill sex scene. This was a threesome.
I tell ya, the logistics of 2 people are easy. But add that 3rd person and it becomes a little bit like strategizing. (Don't even get me started on the 4-some sex scene I've still got to write!) It's inevitable at times, but you never want one of the characters just sitting back and not doing anything. Heh, then add to the mix that they're all guys…and then you get lost in a sea of: he said/he moved/he turned. If you're not careful, you can lose track of which he is doing what! Luckily this is written in 1st person, so that only left me to deal with 2 he's.
Even though I've tried to add the foreshadowing of this twist, I do think my readers are going to be shocked. And then they're going to be angry. Hell, I was a bit angry at my character's decisions. But trying to go over it, around it, under it…anything but through it…that didn't quite work. Things always seem to get really screwed up when I pull rank on the characters and make them do what I want them to do.
What people don't always realize, is that I'm not making these twists and turns to shock people. Really. Everything I'm doing actually has a reason and a fix. It might not be magically fixed in the next chapter – or even in this book – but it will work. Hopefully the readers will stick around to see that happen.
I've lost many readers in the past year. I've been told that it's not my writing, which is a plus (I think), but that it's the story itself. It seems that I've touched on a lot of people's personal demons…including my own. This isn't a light-hearted "beach read". No, this is more like an emotional roller coaster ride with the energizer bunny in control. It just keeps on going, and going, and going....
Anyway, 2 guy friends (I use the 'friend' term loosely for one of them) were asked about how they felt about 3-somes/4-somes – in regard to this story/situation. I'd expected the worst, but they surprised me by saying that it wasn't a big turn-off; to them, at least.
So, as a reader (not of my stuff, but just in general), just out of curiosity…
How do you feel when romances take on a more non-typical twist in a story?
Would it bug the hell out of you for the 2 main characters/lovers to have an encounter with another couple…and then ultimately have more of a stable, loving relationship with ½ of that other couple when that said couple didn't quite work out and parted ways?
A few thoughts/questions for any writers out there…
Do you ever worry (perhaps obsessively) about the plot twists and turns in your work?
Have you ever not taken a direction in a story because you were afraid your readers wouldn't be able to accept it? Not necessarily in regard to "is that in the character's mindset", but in regard to some "moral/controversial" subject?
Ever worry that you're just going to have a piece so F.U.B.A.R that you can't figure out what to do next?
Ah well, I better head off to bed and let the brain cells reorganize. I hear that's VERY important for us blondes ;)
I just finished writing 8 pages of sex. I should feel ecstatic, but in all actuality, I'm just exhausted. Mentally exhausted. Now, you may wonder why the hell 8 pages of sex was so difficult. Well, this wasn't just any run of the mill sex scene. This was a threesome.
I tell ya, the logistics of 2 people are easy. But add that 3rd person and it becomes a little bit like strategizing. (Don't even get me started on the 4-some sex scene I've still got to write!) It's inevitable at times, but you never want one of the characters just sitting back and not doing anything. Heh, then add to the mix that they're all guys…and then you get lost in a sea of: he said/he moved/he turned. If you're not careful, you can lose track of which he is doing what! Luckily this is written in 1st person, so that only left me to deal with 2 he's.
Even though I've tried to add the foreshadowing of this twist, I do think my readers are going to be shocked. And then they're going to be angry. Hell, I was a bit angry at my character's decisions. But trying to go over it, around it, under it…anything but through it…that didn't quite work. Things always seem to get really screwed up when I pull rank on the characters and make them do what I want them to do.
What people don't always realize, is that I'm not making these twists and turns to shock people. Really. Everything I'm doing actually has a reason and a fix. It might not be magically fixed in the next chapter – or even in this book – but it will work. Hopefully the readers will stick around to see that happen.
I've lost many readers in the past year. I've been told that it's not my writing, which is a plus (I think), but that it's the story itself. It seems that I've touched on a lot of people's personal demons…including my own. This isn't a light-hearted "beach read". No, this is more like an emotional roller coaster ride with the energizer bunny in control. It just keeps on going, and going, and going....
Anyway, 2 guy friends (I use the 'friend' term loosely for one of them) were asked about how they felt about 3-somes/4-somes – in regard to this story/situation. I'd expected the worst, but they surprised me by saying that it wasn't a big turn-off; to them, at least.
So, as a reader (not of my stuff, but just in general), just out of curiosity…
How do you feel when romances take on a more non-typical twist in a story?
Would it bug the hell out of you for the 2 main characters/lovers to have an encounter with another couple…and then ultimately have more of a stable, loving relationship with ½ of that other couple when that said couple didn't quite work out and parted ways?
A few thoughts/questions for any writers out there…
Do you ever worry (perhaps obsessively) about the plot twists and turns in your work?
Have you ever not taken a direction in a story because you were afraid your readers wouldn't be able to accept it? Not necessarily in regard to "is that in the character's mindset", but in regard to some "moral/controversial" subject?
Ever worry that you're just going to have a piece so F.U.B.A.R that you can't figure out what to do next?
Ah well, I better head off to bed and let the brain cells reorganize. I hear that's VERY important for us blondes ;)
Sunday, January 09, 2005
Breaking things down...
**warning -- pervy post ahead**
Well, pervy for some of you maybe. I have a VERY diverse group of friends and readers, so what might be kink for some is normal for others. That's not to say this is a kink post, 'cause it's not. At least I don't think it is. Oh nevermind!
I think I've mentioned it before, but in case you missed it or I didn't spell it out plainly enough....
I LOVE my MEN Magazine!!
The hubby and I were going somewhere yesterday and as I got in the car, I noticed a grey slip-covered magazine between the console and the passenger seat. Since I didn't renew my subscription to The Advocate, it had to be my newest issue of MEN. I whipped it out from between the seats and gave the hubby an incredulous look. "All we got was junk mail, huh?"
He laughed and said, "Oh, I forgot about that one." Sure. Yeah. Tell that to someone who doesn't know for a fact that he'd hide it from me, just to make me ask for it. The man is lucky he didn't get injured for that one.
Anyway, the Feb. '05 issue has Dean Phoenix on the cover and a layout of him looking so totally edible in nothing but his boots and hat. What more could I have asked for while working on a "cowboy" story?!? Perfect freakin' timing!
I realized something while reading this issue of MEN and a few other magazines that I get. It seems as though I tend to break things down into little groups of 3 (see Dreams post for more evidence). To further prove my point, I subscribe to believing in 3 types of the "men".
1) Total body men -- Just give me the man and let me take my time, there's not a single spot on his body that I wouldn't love to examine just a tad bit closer. Example: Dean Phoenix, ZA (which I'm not naming b/c I get enough searches for him), Kris Knight, and Dave Dekker are total body men -- for me, that is. There are SO many more...but that's a start.
2) Dick men -- Pretty self-describing there. Just the dick please. Hold the body, hold the face; break out the "do-it-yourself dick kit" and let's replicate that bad boy.
3) Ass men -- Also self-describing. Just turn around and let me have that ass. No, please...don't ruin the fantasy by looking over your shoulder!
I have a friend that says that I'm just plain scary...that I'm a gay man trapped in a woman's body. It truly is a curse. So many men, none of them available. Oh well, at least I can talk porn and hot men with my friends or scare them to death by telling them I'll be behind the curtain watching their next 3-some (don't even ask, lol).
So what exactly was the point of this twisted, nonsensical post?
That I'm wasting valuable time that I should either be responding to emails or writing?
--OR--
That I'm getting my pervy brain in gear so that I can more efficiently write some porn? Oh, sounds good to me. There we go. That's my story and I'm stickin' to it.
Well, pervy for some of you maybe. I have a VERY diverse group of friends and readers, so what might be kink for some is normal for others. That's not to say this is a kink post, 'cause it's not. At least I don't think it is. Oh nevermind!
I think I've mentioned it before, but in case you missed it or I didn't spell it out plainly enough....
I LOVE my MEN Magazine!!
The hubby and I were going somewhere yesterday and as I got in the car, I noticed a grey slip-covered magazine between the console and the passenger seat. Since I didn't renew my subscription to The Advocate, it had to be my newest issue of MEN. I whipped it out from between the seats and gave the hubby an incredulous look. "All we got was junk mail, huh?"
He laughed and said, "Oh, I forgot about that one." Sure. Yeah. Tell that to someone who doesn't know for a fact that he'd hide it from me, just to make me ask for it. The man is lucky he didn't get injured for that one.
Anyway, the Feb. '05 issue has Dean Phoenix on the cover and a layout of him looking so totally edible in nothing but his boots and hat. What more could I have asked for while working on a "cowboy" story?!? Perfect freakin' timing!
I realized something while reading this issue of MEN and a few other magazines that I get. It seems as though I tend to break things down into little groups of 3 (see Dreams post for more evidence). To further prove my point, I subscribe to believing in 3 types of the "men".
1) Total body men -- Just give me the man and let me take my time, there's not a single spot on his body that I wouldn't love to examine just a tad bit closer. Example: Dean Phoenix, ZA (which I'm not naming b/c I get enough searches for him), Kris Knight, and Dave Dekker are total body men -- for me, that is. There are SO many more...but that's a start.
2) Dick men -- Pretty self-describing there. Just the dick please. Hold the body, hold the face; break out the "do-it-yourself dick kit" and let's replicate that bad boy.
3) Ass men -- Also self-describing. Just turn around and let me have that ass. No, please...don't ruin the fantasy by looking over your shoulder!
I have a friend that says that I'm just plain scary...that I'm a gay man trapped in a woman's body. It truly is a curse. So many men, none of them available. Oh well, at least I can talk porn and hot men with my friends or scare them to death by telling them I'll be behind the curtain watching their next 3-some (don't even ask, lol).
So what exactly was the point of this twisted, nonsensical post?
That I'm wasting valuable time that I should either be responding to emails or writing?
--OR--
That I'm getting my pervy brain in gear so that I can more efficiently write some porn? Oh, sounds good to me. There we go. That's my story and I'm stickin' to it.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)